Pune Traffic:
Traffic in India is like the Chennai summer. You feel that this year’s summer is the worst so far and similarly, wherever you go in India, you say - This is the Worst Traffic!
With the exception of Calcutta (or kolkata or by any other name, it is going to be as worse and no better. Our netas’ fixation with name changes - that is a topic for another day!) I guess I have seen all major city traffic. I have stayed in Chennai and Bangalore for long and have visited Hyderabad, Mumbai and Delhi often enough to understand and comment on the traffic there. But, I’m not going to do a comparative study here. What I’m trying to do is to highlight the unique features of Pune traffic and you can draw your own conclusions…

Puneites (as Times of India calls us) seem to be suffering from acute color blindness as there seems to be no regard for the changing traffic signal. Red or Green it is all the same and it doesn’t matter to us, we will just drive through. The cure seems to be the presence of a traffic cop – who for reasons unknown never seems to be around unless there is utter chaos and people getting ready to exchange blows.

Our wish to ride on any side of the road is also perplexing and the only explanation seems to be that there are many American returns and they have still not changed over to driving on the left side of the road. You will find people driving on the right side and close to the median, which will further surprise you and make you think that you are driving on the wrong side. A fully loaded truck thundering at you on the wrong side of the road; you will feel so close to your Maker!

Anybody can just raise his hand and cross the road at any place, no matter that you are driving a 1 ton car at 40+ km/hour speed. You better screech to a halt and let the man cross the road. If a collision happens, wonder who will be damaged? To be fair, this is a phenomenon I have seen in Chennai a lot – where, if you come too close to the man crossing the road, be prepared to hear the choicest of Tamil words. Words you won’t find in any dictionary!

Puneites are very talkative. Talkative to an extent that they love to talk even while driving. Normal you say? It is normal when you talk to a passenger in your vehicle and it is “not” normal when you are driving and talking to the man in the vehicle next to you! Pune roads are narrow, on these roads you will see two cyclists talking and peddling their cycles at a leisurely pace – a quaint sight, maybe, but not when you are behind them. I am a reasonable man and can tolerate this cycle thing, but you will see all sorts of combinations of this arrangement on the road. Bike to bike is the most common; they will be driving at near 10 km\hr and will be talking their heads off. I have been fortunate enough to drive behind a pair, driving cars in parallel and taking to each other!!!

The thing that I really appreciate is the great optimism of the cyclist. He thinks that he can really drive faster that a 1200 cc, 101 BHP car that is running next to him. If you slow down your car (probably because two motorcyclists are talking and driving at the same time) this cyclist will overtake, turn back and give you a triumphant smile. Now you have two choices; kill yourself or run him down.

The six seater…the King of the Pune roads. These are of the same concept as the shared auto of Chennai. They are called six seaters as they are supposed to ferry six people at maximum. I have counted 15 at times and had to stop because I had to pass the vehicle! This is an exercise worth a Guinness entry. And they drive crazy. For some reason, this guy thinks that the vehicle which is made of iron and such hard material can really shrink and squeeze through the traffic like an octopus getting in to a coke bottle. He really believes that if he can get his front (which is 3\4 of the rest of the vehicle) through, the rest of the body will all get through too. You think it is not possible – of course it is possible, only you have to lose your side rear view mirror with the six seater.

The other contender for the King of Pune Road position is the local Bus (PMTC). If you see a PMTC approaching just get out of the way - no arguments there. They are above the law and oblivious to the “right of way” concepts. A big business opportunity in pune is cleaning of these buses. Never have you seen anything so dirty in all your life, covered with a thick coat (especially during monsoon) of whatever it is, you can be forgiven for mistaking it for a small dune coming at you at breakneck speed.

These are the idiosyncrasies of Pune traffic…in addition to all other irritants of Indian traffic. Driving in Pune, you feel like the Zen Monk who was running away from a hungry tiger, falling off a cliff and hanging to a frayed strawberry vine.
Over a period of time you too will lose your sanity and join the party.